Courtroom Dialogues

These are supposedly actual courtroom dialogues, published by court reporters. The list was longer than this originally, but these below are really funny (to me).
It might be hard to believe that some of these dialogues took place, but then again, hard-to-believe-things happen daily. If you don't believe me, watch the news tonight.

Attorney: Are you sexually active?
Witness: No, I just lie there.

Attorney: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Witness: Would you repeat the question?

Attorney: She had three children, right?
Witness: Yes.
Attorney: How many were boys?
Witness: None.
Attorney: Were there any girls?

Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?
Witness: By death.
Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?

Attorney: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed

on dead people?

Witness: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Attorney: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?

What school did you go to?

Witness: Oral.

Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Witness: Huh?

Ego Dialogues

Courtroom Dialogues