Apartment Rent

While reading my morning e-mails, I discovered that my cousin, who is by choice in charge of spreading laughs, sent me a few jokes. They might exist in English as well, but these weren't, so I translated them.
First a few short jokes to warm you up..

Why doesn't the skeleton jump into the water?

It doesn't have the balls!

The other Tuesday I met my mother-in-law in front of the entrance door.
She asked if she can stay for a few days.
I said she could.
And?
There she is, still in front of the door..

Two programmers walk in the park when a beautiful woman walks past them.
"Look what properties she has!", exclaims the one.
"Forget it", says the other,"She is read only".

A married man meets a woman and agrees to spend the night with her for 500 Euros. The next moring, after they spent the night together, he explains that he doesn't have enough cash on him, and that he will tell his secretary to send the woman a check with "Apartment rent" as the reference, just as soon as he gets to the office.

On the way to the office he realizes that he has regrets, that the entire event isn't worth that much money, so he tells his secretary to prepare a check for 250 Euros and he dictates the following letter as an explanation to accompany the check:

Dear Madam,

Attached you will find the check for 250 Euros for your apartment. I am not sending the agreed upon amount, as I was originally under the impression that..
a) the apartment hasn't been used in the past,
b) the apartment is well heated,
c) the apartment is small enough so I can feel well and at home in it.

However, I came to realize that it had been rented out in the past, the heating doesn't work, and the apartment is too spacious.

Best regards

Upon receiving his letter with the check, the addressed woman immediately returned the check with the following explanation:

Dear Sir,

First of all, I don't understand why you thought that such a beautiful apartment could be vacant for an unlimited time. In regards to your complaint of the warmth in the apartment, the heating works perfectly well, you just have to know how to turn it on. As for the spaciousness, it is a regular size. If you don't have enough furniture to fill it up, don't blaim the landlord.
I am asking you kindly to send the full amount for the apartment rental. Otherwise I shall be forced to contact your current landlord.

Best regards!

Ego Dialogues

Apartment Rent