Some of these are a bit old in the mean time. After all, even the most original line will be less than original if it gets overused due to its original originality. None the less, some of you may not yet be familiar with some of these, and remembers, the comments box at the bottom of the post provides you with a wonderful opportunity to add your own very cool one-liner.
I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, “Where the heck is the ceiling?!”
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then they beat you with experience.
Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
The face of a child can say it all….especially the mouth part of the face.
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Don’t give me that attitude – I’ve got my own.
Definition: excellent
Synonyms: dandy, divine, glorious, groovy, hunky-dory*, keen, marvelous, neat, nifty, sensational, swell
Divine One-liners
Glorious One-liners
Shall I go on?